YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!

In this Inspiring testimony, Lida Kuriakose shows how the Lord has turned her failure into a success.

A DIFFICULT YEAR

I shall always look on the year starting September 2014 as my year of failure. People asked me, “Why aren’t you at university? What are you doing now? A Gap Year, oh so basically sitting at home?” The stares that I got and the looks on people’s faces just made me feel like a failure. It got so bad that I just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide there, to avoid all the questions they were asking me. At the same time I had so many questions for the Lord. What shall I do now? Why did this happen to me? Don’t you love me anymore? I need not have worried because it says in Jeremiah 29:11 “Surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for your harm, to give you a future with hope.”

LACK OF CONFIDENCE

I had always been frightened to stand up in front of an audience; large or small and I suffered from a lack of confidence. Looking back, I realise that I was given many great opportunities but I always said, ‘No’ to them for fear that I would get it wrong. Jesus said, “Nothing is impossible to God.” (Luke 1:37) and that is true because he has transformed me and given me the confidence to say, ‘Yes’ now to any opportunities that he gives me. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) In the last year God has achieved much more in me than I had achieved by myself in the previous 19 years.

DAILY MASS

One real blessing that I gained from my Gap year was being able to attend Holy Mass almost every day. I was also greatly blessed to become an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist and a Minister of the Word in my parish. 1 Corinthians 1:27 says, “God has chosen what the world considers foolish, to shame the wise; he has chosen what the world considers weak, to shame the strong.” Despite this, I still had an unanswered question for the Lord: What about my future? What will my career be? I am weak and not the brightest pupil, so how will I succeed? I was comforted to read in 1 Peter 5:7, “Place all your worries on him, since he takes care of you.”

STUDYING

As my exam retakes were soon to start, I prayed for wisdom and started reciting the Novena of St Joseph of Cupertino. I also found for the first time that I was also able to study at night. I had always felt sleepy after about 8 pm but I managed to get into a routine where I had about five hours sleep and then I would wake up feeling refreshed and ready to study. Another blessing was the opportunity to study in the school chapel before my exams. What more did I need? I was with all the angels. Mary, Joseph and Jesus were with me, helping me to study.

A BETTER PLAN

Many people might see the extra year that I spent away from study as a waste of time but my Father in Heaven had a far better plan for my life than I did. Now, by the grace of God, I am studying Medicine, a course that I would never have dreamed of applying for a year ago. That is why the Lord is so good.

THE FIRST EXAM

When it came to taking the first exam on this course, I was nervous but I had faith that Jesus would be with me and that it would be okay. Again, for nine days I recited the St Joseph of Cupertino Novena and prayed many Rosaries. I knew that it would be difficult because seventy percent of the students had failed the exam the previous year. It was the hardest exam that I would face and so my stress levels were high. I went into the exam room with only one prayer, “Lord Jesus, I know nothing and I do not rely on my own knowledge or understanding. I will only get through this if you, Lord, are with me and if the Holy Spirit helps me through this exam. You enabled me to come on this course to study medicine, and only with your help, will I succeed.” Throughout the exam, I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and eventually I was able to complete all the answers. St Joseph of Cupertino really did intercede for me that day. I give all the praise and glory to God, because I passed the exam and Jesus got me through my first term on the Medicine course! Thank You Lord!

Do not fear for I am with you; do not be afraid for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. 
Isaiah 41:1